A quote from The Times said, “The average woman worries about her body every fifteen minutes, even more than men think about sex”, what are we worried about so much? Ruth Nicholas conducted an internet survery and her findings showed that women in relationships found themselves less attractive than there partners did and generally failed in realising the things that made them attractive to their partner. She concluded from this that women are their own worst critics. The man in your life doesn’t see what you see as flaws, he just sees the woman he fell in love with; he may see your flaws but to him they are simply part of you and why he loves you. Your not a bag of imperfections but a complex creature who enriches his life. So then, why, are 4 out of ever 10 women constantly on a diet?

If we start trying to find confirmation of our beauty we look to the media images all around us and we almost always find ourselves coming up short. All these images are not showing true beauty, they are showing impossible standards that mere mortals cannot hope to live up to. They are designed to maximise profit for manufacturers and they form a trap we all fall into.

Simply put, modern images of beauty are designed for profit! A woman insecure about her body will by more beauty products, more new clothes, more new diet aids. The diet industry alone is estimated to be worth $100 billion [US] a year. Giving in to your insecurities on weight or looks just makes you vulnerable to those who seek to exploit them. Yet does this make you more attractive to men, more likely to achieve fullfillment in your reletionship? When a woman worries about her waist-line or bra size, are they not simply conforming to the media’s idea of how they should look rather than what a man’s idea of true beauty is? But what about men? There is a newly classified medical disorder, which for now is restricted to men, called the “Centerfold Syndrome” and is characterized by prefering to look at pictures of women rather than interacting with the real thing. By rating women in terms of their body parts, size, shape, quality etc, together with a fear of intimacy. And this is not a harmless pastime, it has been reported as responsible for the growth in divorce rates and spousal abuse.

Media images then are not simply impossible to achieve but are actually harmful, contributing to the breakdown of intimacy between men and women. Even if you do win your personal battle with your weight, it doesn’t necessarily lead to attracting a deep and intimate relationship. It could simply lead to men identifying you with the pictures they so crave, of stick thin models or actresses, as someone who is two dimensional, not a whole person. Trying to conform to popular images of beauty could be the downfall of your relationship not the start of a whole new you.

The real key is finding a real relationship. When you fall in love with someone your beauty starts to shine. If you start a relationship that is not based on a real connection with a person, then it is doomed to fail as it is not a good relationship. So what if you have a great body, slim waist, great boobs? This could be the lethal flaw, as it could end up with you attracting the wrong sort of man, a superficial one, a using one.

What do people who love us find attractive in our body? Be open to the answer – it may surprise you! It surprised many of the people in Ruth’s survey. In our quest to express our true beauty – men are our allies, not our enemies. Through our deep bonds and friendships with men, we can learn more about what makes us uniquely beautiful. After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder! When someone is connected to you, then they are able to help you to see the true beauty within.

This feature is an examination by Michelle WalterMichelle Walter, Origin Psychic’s leading expert in emotional issuesemotional issues and relationshipsrelationships. In it she examineshow men and women look differently at their bodies.

No Comments »

No comments yet.

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment